what do I do?

I talked to my mom yesterday on the phone, and never have I heard her speak in the tone she did. She sounded sad, defeated, exhausted, and on the brink of....I don't even know, but something. I haven't been able to get her out of my mind. When my dad lost his job last month, it was a scary moment. Like many other Americans, they have found themselves in a financial rut they never thought possible at their ages and at this point in their marriage. But they were hopeful he could bounce back and find something quickly, because that's the way he is. They knew they would have to cut back, push their trip back to Hawaii my sister got them for a 35th anniversary present for the second time, go back to breakfast for dinner, and be even more frugal than they always have been. Now my mother took a paycut, because the studio isn't doing fantastically-dance lessons in this economic environment is a luxury many cannot keep.

My dad is working his tail off, trying to get customers around the midwest for this or that, and my mother is being super supportive, and would like to be optimistic, but is having a hard time doing so. At this time of year, we usually go to Petitti's and get everything for our garden-and we spend about a week planting everything and placing mulch down. She is devastated she can not make it this year.

They have worked so crazy hard for everything, and I hate that they are in this predicament. They deserve all the things that come with their marriage at this point in life-relaxation, rest, grandchildren, joy.

I feel so helpless over here. I want to help them, but I don't know how. I know if I sent them money they wouldn't take it. I can't go home to see them anytime soon-which is another crappy part-I have stuff every weekend for the next month that demands my presence here. They want to come here, but that would make me feel guilty because with gas and all, its $$ and I would rather them keep it for themselves.

Heather and I got Mom a $50 gift card to Petittis for Mothers Day, so she can get herself some petunia trays, maybe some baskets too. She loves the baskets on our patio.

I am not a religious person, and I struggle with any kind of relationship with God, but for the first time I am constantly praying. I am praying God sends them strength, endurance, and hope every day. Their voices and their tired eyes need it.....

xoxo